Light Sabers and Spider-Man

When we first stopped by this family's house the day before yesterday to drop off some a mattress and some other simple furniture, it was obvious that Hussein, his nearly nine-month pregnant wife, and their four other children ranging from ages 2-10 had next to nothing. Among the various items we delivered to this man's home was a hospital bed that Sasha had offered to the family the day before. The hospital bed was for the father Hussein, who for more then ten years has been suffering from a cancerous tumor in his larynx. When Sasha had asked this man about his medical situation the first time she met the family, he said that since trying for a long time to get funding from NGOs and a private Iraqi donor, he was only five thousand dollars away from being able to have the surgery to remove his tumor. With four children and one more on the way, and insufficient financial means to afford basic food and meet the monthly rent, five thousand dollars seems like a world away. I want to mention, however, that while many may question this family's ability to care for four children let alone a fifth child, family and children are highly valued in this culture as part of one's identity, as the average family has approximately five children. While it may be most logical in our minds not to create a larger family when we are not sufficiently able to care for that we already have, our inexperience living in a situation where most all other aspects of our life our filled with pain and sorrow leaves us without the ability to judge those who possibly find their only bit of happiness in the life of their children. It is not our right to tell someone that because they are poor that they should be allowed to have a family.

When we arrived to Hussein's home the next evening in order to do a more formal assessment, besides the furniture that had already been donated and delivered the night before, there was only a few cushions on the ground and a small TV. Because satellite is free, many homes will come "furnished" with a television when it is rented. The children were all sitting together on one cushion watching television when we were greeted and asked to sit down on another cushion in the room. As Sasha does on most all of her home visits to families, she brought a few gifts. In this family, there are four children: Abdullah, (age 10), Abdullah (age 8), Roqaya (age 6) and Abdullah (age 2). She gave them paint sets with art pads, games, action figures (spider-man), a cheap transistor radio, dolls with "dress up" jewelry, and four colorful light up sticks similar to Star Wars light sabers. The kids were ecstatic! The parents were given some household items such as cups, plates, and cleaning supplies, all brought to CRP by local donors.

As the kids calmed down a bit from all of their excitement, Hussein began to tell his family's story. While it may appear to many of us that the violence in Iraq is beginning to dissipate as America's focus may has strayed from the issue, this is far from the truth. There is a great deal of violence still present in the country, not so directly tied to the U.S. military but highly influenced by it. In late 2009, after having his life threatened because of his work as as a security guard for the UN, he and his family fled the country. While it may be difficult for us to understand or determine the severity of these threats that so many Iraqis receive, it was obvious to Hussein and his wife that they must leave when Hussein's supervisor was threatened by the same militia, as well as discovering that his wife's uncle had been killed by this militia. Nearly five years ago, the family suffered sever physical and psychological trauma when a hand grenade was thrown into and exploded in their home. The eldest boy, who was only five years old at the time, underwent lasting acoustic trauma and suffered the symptoms of epilepsy for several years following. Although these symptoms have faded, the trauma is continuous. On a regular basis, this boy wakes in the middle of the night screaming in fear and throwing his bedding around, despite recalling nothing of the event when he is woken by his father.

When searching for the silver lining in this horrific situation, Hussein informed us just before we had come to visit, that an anonymous donor had given the additional five thousand dollars for him to have his surgery. When we expressed our enthusiasm for this enormous change in circumstances, he said as many Iraqis do even in the worse of times, "Alhamdulillah" or thanks to God. It is astounding to see the honest gratefulness that so many people convey in their presence and when telling their stories, regardless of whether their circumstances are ever to change.

Although Hussein's surgery now seems to be taken care of, he will see his doctor this Thursday to set an official date, there are still many problems that this family must face. As I mentioned earlier, his wife is due to give birth any day. It is highly unlikely that Hussein's surgery and 15-day hospital stay won't conflict with his wife's delivery. While another man living in the same housing complex has agreed to care of this couple's children while they are both in the hospital, Hussein and his wife cannot even afford diapers or a bed for the little baby girl they will bringing home in just a few weeks.

Like many families who have fled to Jordan or the surrounding countries, Hussein and his wife have no income. The nine hundred dollars they brought with them, frugal as they were, has now run out. Although they were interviewed for minimal cash assistance by UNHCR, they have yet to receive these funds.

As CRP's funding is running extremely low as well, it was only in Sasha's ability to lend her efforts in contacting UNHCR in order to expedited the process that would allow them to receive at least some small amount of financial support. Despite having been able to pay rent until now, it has only been because of the kindness shared by various NGOs and some friendly neighbors. Although it would only take two hundred and fifty dollars to pay this month's rent, purchase a few stable foods for their survival, and provide a simple baby crib and diapers for their newest daughter, for this family it is two hundred and fifty dollars too much.

It takes not only a large amount of courage but also greatly effects a person's pride when he or she finds them self in such a situation where they must ask for assistance. I will leave you with a phrase that Hussein spoke during our visit, and has stayed with me ever since. "In Iraq we were helping others, now they are helping us".